The dust of the proposal is settling and I'm grasping more and more the gravity of what has happened. I've agreed to share the rest of my life with one single person. Whaaaat?! It sounds a little crazy when you really sit and think about that concept. So this Sunday I'm gonna talk about the things I've felt and the things I've learned in the past two days:
First of all, I've realized that I have so many people who love me and are genuinely happy when I'm successful. I can't thank people enough for being so sweet, and for fueling my excitement even more by gushing over my ring, and raving about how sweet my fiancé is. I am BEYOND grateful for all of you.
That being said, I've also realized that there are some people in the world who just cannot be purely happy for you because of their selfishness/jealousy. I've been asked if I was pregnant, which is seriously annoying-- The answer to that is NO. I am young, and engaged, and it's because Bradley and I are completely in love with one another, and for no other reason. We have things on our "Baby Bucket List" that we want to accomplish before we bring a baby into the world.
And furthermore, even if I were pregnant, it's STILL really rude to ask like that.
It's also been brought to my attention that there are some people who are mad that I didn't call them after it happened. My answer to that is the ONLY people that me and Bradley called afterwards were our parents. Why? Because it would take forever to call everyone that's important to us, and even if I was focused on doing that in that moment, my phone was dangerously close to dead. I have very close family and friends that found out through social media, and some called crying with joy because they were so happy for me, and they didn't give a crap about how they found out. So: If you can't be happy for me because you found out the way everrrryooneee else did, please exit my life promptly, because I don't need those kinds of people surrounding me.
Okay now that the negativity is out of the way, let me get to the positivity:
Since Friday night, every time Bradley has told me he loves me, it has felt different. There is different kind of weight behind those words now. Every sort of doubt I've ever had about his feelings for me has been erased, and that is something so priceless. It feels different to be engaged, and I really didn't believe that it would. I view Bradley differently now, and I view commitment differently now. It's more tangible; more real. And it's exciting! Because I know that my choice in a partner is so solid. I'm so certain that there is no one else I want to be with.
Another weird thing about this whole thing is... wait for it... My wedding ideas board on Pinterest is REAL LIFE now!!! (Lol.) I'm seriously considering the things I'm pinning and I have to say it's so strange that my life is at that point. I'm considering two different seasons and two different colors/themes, and that's about all I can decide at this point since we are so far away from when we actually want to get married.
Which brings me to another thing I've been asked: "Have you set a date?"
Ummmm... No. I have a few in mind, but they are a few years away from now, and me and Bradley will have to discuss it in person. Like I said, Bradley and I have a Baby Bucket List and we have some things to get done before babies, and one of those things is getting an education. Another one of those things is visiting as many amusement parks as we can, but that's neither here nor there... :)
All of those things aside--- I'm not quite ready to be a wife. I thought I was, truthfully. But I'm not. And Bradley isn't ready to be a husband. We've talked about it, and we want to enjoy this part of our relationship, thoroughly. Why rush something so sweet and perfect as this? And I must say, my parents are relieved that we feel that way.
Truthfully, I was a little scared about how my dad would feel. I knew he didn't disapprove but I didn't want this to be a sad moment for him; with his "little girl" growing up, and all. It has been the exact opposite. He was just as excited as my mom. My mom told me later that when they got off the phone with me after I told them, he started laughing heartily and said "I'm just so happy for her." Those words are so good for a daughter's soul; I can't even describe it.
And to my friends: Thank you for giggling and jumping up and down with me in Walmart when you saw the ring. It makes me feel so special and proud, and I can't wait to be able to do the same for you guys one day. (Here's looking at you, Jenni and Kayla.)
So this is my life right now. Rings and Redheads. *Sigh...*