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Wednesday, January 14, 2015

selfiewednesday (because I've missed a few "selfie" posts): Why a long engagement rocks.

A few weeks ago I was at a get together with some of my friends, and we were talking about engagement. One of them, without thinking, said "I just don't want to be one of those girls that have long engagements." It got a little uncomfortable, and it got a lot quieter. When she understood why it got awkward, she apologized for possibly offending me.

But that was my first clue that there is some sort of disapproval among people about long engagements.

The next clue I got from that was yesterday. Bradley introduced me to one of his classmates as his fiancé, and the guy goes "Oh Congrats! When's the date?" I gave him my usual answer to that question: "It won't be for a few years. We have a date in mind, but it would be in 2017." This guy literally laughs out loud, and walks away. I was puzzled, and pissed off.

Both of those recent rude events got me thinking, and now they have me blogging: Long engagements are actually kind of great. (Even if I am a little biased.)

1. We have plenty of time to save for the wedding we really want. I've learned over the past few months that weddings aren't cheap, and the wedding I want will definitely not be. Bradley and I have already started a bank account to save for our wedding/honeymoon. By the time I'm ready to start pumping money into a wedding, I'll have a lot more of it to spare than I would have if we were getting married in like, six months. (And honestly, the thought of planning a wedding in that amount of time freaks me out anyway.)
2. We have plenty of time to figure out what we want for our wedding. Extra time means less stress. I'm getting much more time to really evaluate what I want for my big day. I've heard of people who decide to change colors/themes halfway through planning and that is terrifying to me! When 2017 rolls around, I'll have a game plan and a budget and I'll know my tastes well enough at that point to know exactly what I'm going for.
3. I've got time to work on that wedding boddddd. I'm halfway joking, and halfway serious. ;) I recently got a gym membership with some of my close friends and now I've gotten kind of addicted to it. Hopefully I'll have a sick six pack by 2017. (Or a four-pack. I'll honestly take what I can get.)
4. We get the perks of commitment, without the stresses of marriage. This one is pretty nice, I can't lie. The other night Bradley and I brought home dinner to his place, watched a movie, and got to "play house" for a little while. Then I got to drive home and climb into a bed of my own, and the next morning I got to wake up and only worry about myself, getting ready for my day. Marriage will be a different story; I'll no longer get the luxury of only concerning myself with my life, but I'll have to worry about another person's life, too. Don't get me wrong: I signed up for this. I want to be an intricate part of his life, but I plan on thoroughly enjoying the last few "Me" years I have left.
5. We'll be a lot more prepared for marriage in general. All wedding talk aside, I'm preparing to become one with a person spiritually, emotionally, and let's not forget legally, for the rest of my life. I want to know the ins and outs of what I'm about to get into. I already know that we agree on the very basics of things (finances, religion, politics, etc.) but we still need to cover other things, like when we should buy a house, how to divide up the chores of our household, things like that. One thing IS for sure though... we got the baby names part down. ;)
6. It's none of your business anyway. (Okay, I cheated here. This isn't a reason why it rocks.) This is simply me telling to whom it may concern that the decisions I make for my life don't concern you. I'll get married when I'm ready, and when I want to. Point blank, period.

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